Adventures in Babysitting
by Shorty McGee
Summary: After Artie repeatedly tells Claudia not to touch the artifacts, she does it anyway. Now she knows why she shouldn't.
1. Chapter 1

I don't own any part of Warehouse 13, but wouldn't turn down the Warehouse, or the delectable Arthur Neilsen.

Please read and review! I would really appreciate it!

Artie leaned back against the shelf and sighed. He pulled his handkerchief out of his pocket and wiped his forehead. He had been doing inventory with Claudia and he thought that he was going to kill her…if she didn't do something stupid and get herself killed first. Artie put his handkerchief back in his pocket and was about to get back to work when he heard his two agents coming, Pete and Myka.

"Claudia!" Artie yelled.

After a moment a young redhead popped around the corner of the shelf.

"Yes, Professor?" She asked, wiping her hands on a rag.

Artie's mouth opened to let her know he would be right back, but stopped before he uttered a word. After a moment, he spoke.

"What were you doing? He asked carefully.

Claudia looked down slightly. "Nothing, Obi Wan. Why do you ask?" Claudia seemed annoyed.

Artie wasn't always sure if she was really annoyed or if she was faking it to not end up in trouble. Claudia didn't want to be in trouble and would do almost anything to stay on Artie's good side. He looked at her and she looked away. Whenever he looked at her, she looked away. He took a moment to glance at her over his glasses. She still wasn't looking at him. Ah ha! She was up to something that she knew she wasn't supposed to do. He glared at her over the top of his glasses. Claudia began to study the floor.

"Claudia!" Artie began impatiently. "What did you do this time?"

Claudia squirmed under his gaze. She didn't want to be there, that much Artie could tell. He repeated her name and the telltale red blush moved up her face. Artie sighed, crossed his arms and waited for her to speak. After a few minutes, Claudia pointed down the aisle. Artie sighed and headed in the direction that Claudia was pointing in.

When Artie arrived, an artifact was laying on the floor, broken. Pieces were scattered over most of the aisle, pieces big and small were everywhere. Artie stood over it for a moment before heading to a nearby garbage bin and retrieving a small broom and a dustpan. He handed them to Claudia.

"Have fun!" Artie chirped. He was happy for the first time today. He knew the mess would take Claudia several minutes to clean up and looked forward to the silence. Artie had just made it back to where Pete and Myka were waiting for him.

"Hey Artie! How ya doin' man?" Pete asked jovially.

"What did you break this time?" Artie asked. The younger agent liked to play with the artifacts in the Warehouse and didn't seem to remember that they were all dangerous.

Pete looked offended. "Moi, break something. I never break anything." But before his partner, Myka could begin to list all of the things that he had either broken or damaged since coming to the Warehouse, he went on.

"Actually, we were wondering if you needed us for something agenty?"

Pete had his hands in his pockets and Myka was trying not to look like she was with Pete, but the way Artie looked at them both made even her take a step back.

"Everything we do here is "agenty"! You would do well to remember that!"

With that, Artie turned back to his work. He stood and waited until either they left or spoke. He quickly made a bet with himself as to which on it would be and who would start it. Fortunately, Artie didn't have to wait long. And he won the bet with himself.

"Artie, I'm sorry. Pete didn't mean it that way." It was Myka Bering. She was the detail oriented member of the team, more so than Artie was. Sometimes he found it annoying, but her obsession with details had saved them on several occasions. She elbowed Pete in the stomach who repeated her words. Artie smiled. The two of them often argued like an old married couple. He turned and looked at them.

"Go you two. Go, and do something fun!"

Artie heard something drop on the floor. He then realized that must be Claudia, and without turning around, spoke.

That didn't include you! You, young lady, have a lot of work to do!"

Claudia groaned loudly, picked up her gloves that she had thrown on the floor in anticipation of an early day, and stomped off to work. Pete grinned and turned to leave, Myka was right behind him. They both wanted to get out of there before Artie found something for them to do.

As Pete and Myka were leaving, Claudia found something on the shelf that she had never seen before, and she thought she had seen everything in the Warehouse. She picked up the item and tried to blow off the dust, but it clung stubbornly to the artifact. So Claudia pulled off her gloves and wiped the dust off with a finger. As she did so, a purple mist came out of the artifact and zoomed to where the three agents were standing. Claudia screamed as the mist enveloped them.

I hope you like cliffies, because you will see a lot of them!


	2. Chapter 2

I don't own Warehouse 13, the delectable Artie Nielsen, or anything to do with it, but I wouldn't say no if they were offered.

As Claudia screamed, she heard a voice coming from behind her. Claudia knew that voice, and as she turned, she hoped that she was wrong, but she found that she wasn't. She turned to face Mrs. Frederic, who was looking very stern.

"What did you do this time?" she asked, her silent, hulking bodyguard standing close by.

Claudia didn't respond verbally, but pointed down the aisle. Mrs. Frederic put her glasses on and headed down the aisle. Claudia didn't follow. Mrs. Frederic stopped and looked at her.

"Are you coming?"

Claudia knew that it wasn't a question, but an order, so she swallowed her fear and follow slowly after the older woman. As they started around a corner, they could hear the sound of children playing. Claudia wondered idly what children were doing in the Warehouse and how they got inside. They hurried around the corner to find three children there. The two boys were play fighting with some of the artifacts, while the girl was huddled in a corner made by several large crates covering herself with a shirt several times too big for her, the boys didn't seem to mind that they were naked, they were having too much fun for that to matter. They all looked about five years old and didn't seem to take notice of the adults watching them. They stepped back around the corner and Mrs. Frederic began to question Claudia.

"What exactly happened?"

Claudia immediately started babbling. After Mrs. Frederic held up a hand, the babbling stopped. Mrs. Frederic cleared her throat, and the children looked at her.

"How did you get in here?"

They stared back, blinking at her. After a few seconds, one of the boys walked up to her and stuck out a hand.

"My name is Arthur Weisfelt. Are you lost?" the curly haired boy asked.

Claudia felt the blood leave her face as she stared at the little boy. He grinned at the two women when they didn't respond and then went back to playing with Pete. Mrs. Frederic recovered first.

"It appears that these are my agents. So, what happened to them, Miss Donavan?" She glared at Claudia for a moment before the young woman spoke.

"I touched an artifact."

She could feel Mrs. Frederic loom over her. "Which one?"

Claudia walked over to show Mrs. Frederic the artifact she had touched. She didn't touch it this time, but instead pointed it out to the older woman.

"How did you touch it?" Mrs. Frederic ordered. She put her glasses on and watched as Claudia demonstrated how she touched it and what happened after ward. Mrs. Frederic sighed when Claudia was done.

"What do you know about the artifact you touched?" She said glaring over her glasses at the younger woman.

Claudia gulped. "Nothing, ma'am."

Mrs. Frederic took off her glasses and put them away. "I will explain why you should never touch something that you don't know anything about, especially in here." Mrs. Frederic leaned against the nearest shelf, although Claudia noticed that she was far enough from the artifacts not to accidentally brush them.

"This object sat on the on the desk of Theodor Seuss Geisel. Do you know who he is?"

Claudia shook her head. Part of name rang a bell for her, but couldn't place where she had heard it, or what it had to do with Artie, Pete or Myka being turned into children.

Mrs. Frederic smiled. "He was an author of children's books." When Claudia continued to give her a blank stare, she continued. "Perhaps I should tell you that he wrote under the name of Dr. Seuss."

Claudia felt the color leave her face. She thought she was going to be sick. Claudia sat on the floor and looked at Mrs. Frederic.

"How long will the effect last?"

Mrs. Frederic smiled. "Could be hours, days…weeks. We won't know until it wears off."

Claudia felt a weight off her shoulders. "So, what do we do until it wears off?"

Mrs. Frederic smiled a smile that reminded Claudia of a Great White about to get the poor baby seal that wasn't looking.

"We, my child do nothing. You, on the other hand, are babysitting until the effects wear off. Good bye!" And with that Mrs. Frederic was gone.

Claudia turned and looked at the kids. Pete and Artie were still playing, but she didn't see Myka…at first. She looked down when she felt a tug on her pant leg. It was Myka. She looked down at her.

"Do you need something?"

The little girl looked down. Claudia wasn't sure what to do, so she knelt down to put the both at eye level.

"What do you need?"

That is when she noticed that Myka's eyes were full of tears. Claudia scooped the little girl up and gave her a hug. Pete and Artie came over. Pete pat Myka gently on the leg. Claudia sighed. She set Myka down and looked at the children. The boys seemed happy running naked, but that wasn't the same for Myka, who still held the over sized shirt close to her body. Claudia wasn't happy seeing her boss and a good friend standing there naked. Maybe Artie had some clothes that they could wear. She grabbed the hands of two of the children and hoped the other would follow. She just knew it. This was going to be a long day!

What did you think of the chapter? Was it good, bad, or are you just indifferent? Inquiring minds want to know, I want to know.


	3. Chapter 3

I don't own Warehouse 13, or the delicious Artie Nielsen, but wouldn't turn either of them down!

Be kind, please review!

Now, on with the show!

"I am finally done!" Claudia said to herself. Then, she looked around. Artie was naked again. He grinned at her and walked away from the pile of clothing at his feet. Claudia sighed and walked over for the clothes. She picked them up and approached Artie. He took off running away from Claudia as fast as he could move, which unfortunately for Claudia, was a little faster than she could move. Pete and Myka took places to watch that were out of the way, with Pete cheering Artie on.

Claudia dodged and fell over, clutching Artie's ankle. Artie fell over and immediately began to cry. Claudia dropped to her knees and scooped Artie up, or rather, tried to. The moment she was on her knees and leaning over him, he jumped to his feet and ran for the door into the Warehouse. Claudia, still on the floor, grabbed the nearest object within reach, and threw it at the door. The object hit the door, causing it to close just before Artie reached it. The little boy turned and glared at Claudia, who smiled in triumph. Artie turned back and reached for the door knob to open the door, but Claudia got to him first and drug him back to get dressed. When Claudia finally got Artie re-dressed, he immediately started undressing. Claudia grabbed his hands.

"What would it take for you to stay dressed?"

"Cookies!" the little boy announced happily.

Claudia jumped to her feet and ran up the steps to Artie's room. She ransacked the room and, after a few minutes, she found some cookies. She came down with them and gave them to Artie. Then a sniffle came from behind Claudia. She turned to the other two children, looking at her.

"We want cookies too!"

Pete was glaring at her. Claudia groaned and headed back up. She had thought for a moment of asking Artie to give them each one, but the way he held the cookies against his chest told her that would never happen. She went carefully through the room several times before she found more cookies. Claudia now knew why, despite the diet and the length of time Artie had been on it, he had put on a bit of weight. She took the cookies downstairs and handed to the other two.

Artie looked outraged. "They have more than I do! And their cookies are bigger!"

Claudia felt exhausted. "Of course "they" have more. They are two, you are one. Also, there cookies are the same size."

Artie's lip began to curl, and the tears to flow. He looked up at Claudia as one tear began to trace its way down his cheek. Claudia felt bad. She hadn't meant to make him cry. She was about to get Artie some more, when she remembered a story he had told her a few months ago. He had said that as a child, he had been able to get anything he wanted by crying and that he was very good at "seeming" like he was going to cry. Claudia took a step back.

"Sorry, but you have all of the cookies you are going to get."

"But, they have more!"

"And if you say that, or that their cookies are bigger, or anything that think will get you more, I will take your cookies and eat them myself!"

Artie's eyes popped out of his head, and his face went pale. He stared at Claudia for a minute before eating his cookies as fast as he could.

"Oh, and Artie. I know the reason you are stripping down is for attention, so stop, or I will take Pete and Myka for ice cream, and I will leave you here

Artie gave Claudia a dirty look, but didn't seem to be willing to find out if she meant it or not. He continued to eat his cookies, and when Artie finished, he looked tired. Claudia looked at the others and they looked dead on their feet. Claudia was about to take them upstairs for a nap, (she wanted one as well) when she realized that she had someplace for one of them. Claudia ran up the stairs and ducked into Artie's room. The free-standing hammock was against the wall, but she didn't see anything else to put the three agents down for a nap on. She quickly cleared the cot off, and placed a blanket and pillow on it. She looked around and found several mats in a closet that had a sign on it. Claudia wondered where Artie had found a sign that read, "Beware of the Leopard." Claudia shook her head and finished quickly.

When she got down stairs, she found all three sound asleep in various uncomfortable positions around the room. She started with Myka. She set Myka on the thicker mat and covered her with a blanket. Then, it was Pete's turn. He got the other mat. Artie turned out to be another kettle of fish. He was much heavier than he looked, and Claudia almost dropped him on her way up the stairs. When she finally got him upstairs, she put him on the hammock. She tiptoed out, and as she was closing the door, she heard a crash and the sound of a frightened and hurt child wailing. Claudia ducked back in the room to see Artie sitting on the floor and wiping his eyes.

Claudia sat on the floor next to Artie, and pulled him onto her lap. She rocked him until the sniffles died. She laid the now sleeping Artie on the floor and covered him with the blanket off the hammock. She grabbed another blanket, quietly slipped out of the room, and down the stairs. Claudia found her favorite chair, or she should say, the only padded chair in Artie's office, and sat in it. She covered herself with the blanket and went to sleep.

Mrs. Frederic typed furiously. She knew what she was looking for, she hoped, but she didn't know where it was. After many hours, and even more pots of coffee, she found what she was looking for. She grabbed her things, turned off the computer and headed out.

Claudia woke with a sour taste in her mouth and a dead weight on her lap. It took her a few minutes before she could open her eyes, and even then she couldn't see anything. She was about to start screaming, when she heard someone speak.

"Shhh! You are gonna wake her!"

That was Artie speaking. She knew that much. She tried to get up, but Claudia quickly realized that she had been tied to the chair.

"Artie! I know you are behind this! Untie me now!"

The last words were said at a yell. After a few seconds, the blindfold was removed. Claudia saw the reason for the dead weight on her lap, as that was where Artie resided. He grinned at her and replaced the blind fold.

As Claudia fought the ropes that bound her, she could hear someone walking around. A person she didn't know and they were headed right for her.

I hope you enjoyed this chapter, and you will hear more from Mrs. Frederic in the next chapter! Please, read and review. If you made it this far, the story can't be that bad.


	4. Chapter 4

I don't own Artie Nielsen, or Warehouse 13, but I have a room with whips and chains for the delectable Agent Nielsen.

This chapter will have a lot of Mrs. Frederic in it, so I hope you enjoy.

It took what felt like forever to Claudia before she could open her eyes. After they opened, she wished she had never opened them. It was MacPherson standing over her, with a sneer on his face.

"And where, pray tell, is Artie?"

Claudia didn't know where he was at the moment, and she wasn't about to tell him where Artie was even had she known.

"I won't tell you!"

MacPherson reached into a pocket, but before he could pull out whatever he was reaching for, little footsteps were heard. The both look in the direction of the approaching person. It was Artie, and he was yawning.

"I think I need a nap," the small child said. After a moment, Artie walked up to MacPherson. "Hi, I'm Artie. Who are you?"

MacPherson stared incredulously at the small child standing in front of him. Artie stared back.

"Don't you know that it is rude to stare?" Artie said, without breaking his stare. After a few intense minutes, Artie walked away and sat down on the floor for a nap. MacPherson was still staring. The curly haired child was soon snoring.

Then, MacPherson turned on Claudia. "What did you people do to him?" he snarled viciously.

Claudia, was still sitting in the chair, and the chair was still up against the desk, could only shrug. "I don't know," she said after a minute. It sounded weak she knew, but she didn't know what MacPherson would do, and that scared her more than anything. The guy was nuts! Claudia attempted to get out of the chair while MacPherson was watching the miniature agent napping, but as soon as she was almost upright, he pushed her back into the chair.

MacPherson walked over to stand over the snoring Artie. After a few minutes, he walked back over to Claudia. "All right, I will let him go for now, but I will be back and he will pay for what he has done to me!"

With that, MacPherson turned on his heel and marched out the door. Claudia watched him go, and right after the door slammed shut, she was out of her seat and across the room. She scooped up Artie and the Farnsworth, and hurried into the Warehouse proper, with a groggy Artie over her shoulder.

As she ran past Pete and Myka, she called out to them. "Hoof it, you two." They quickly scrambled to their feet and hurried after her. When they got to the far end of the Warehouse, Claudia stopped and set Artie down, and he promptly kicked her on the shin.

Mrs. Frederic was exhausted. She had not been doing field agent work for some time now. This was what Artie, Pete and Myka were hired for. She hurried down a busy main road, into a dead back road. As she walked down, she pulled out a flashlight. As she pointed the light down the alley, she thought she saw someone duck behind a dumpster. She flashed the light on and off several times before the person emerged from behind the dumpster. Mrs. Frederic took a few steps closer.

"Do you have it?"

The man didn't respond, instead he stared at her. She took a few steps closer, but the man remained perfectly still. Just as Mrs. Frederic was close enough to touch him, he took off running. She rolled her eyes and gave chase. The wind whipped past her as she fought to keep up with him.

As he ran around a corner, Mrs. Frederic grabbed an apple off of a fruit stand outside a small store and threw it. It hit the running man on the back of his knee and sent him pin wheeling to the ground. Mrs. Frederic grabbed him and flipped him over. She quickly went through his pockets, and took the object she had been looking for. Mrs. Frederic smiled at the man as he stood, swearing.

"Thank you. This is just what I need."

She walked away quickly and disappeared around a corner.

Claudia sat back in her chair. The three agents sat on the floor and played quietly, but Claudia was beginning to have her doubt on that. They would look at her as the whispered, and some of the looks weren't friendly. She knew they were up to something, she just hoped she would find out before they made their move.

Mrs. Frederic had almost made it back to her car, when a slender man stepped out of the shadows produced by the news stand outside a small store. She didn't need to turn around to know it was MacPherson.

"Hello James," she said before slowly turning around. "What can I do for you?"

She was facing MacPherson now, and she realized that he looked concerned. He took a step closer to her. "What did you people do to Artie?" he snarled.

Mrs. Frederic smiled gently at him. "Nothing that I can't fix. Why do you ask?"

MacPherson snarled again. "He might be a cold-hearted, unfeeling moron, but I will be the one to take him down, not an artifact!" MacPherson turned on his hell and disappeared around a dark corner.

Mrs. Frederic shook her head and climbed into her car. She had a moment to think about what MacPherson had said to her before her bodyguard climbed behind the wheel.

"The Warehouse, and step on it!"

The car screeched off with the smell of burning tires and dirt flying. Mrs. Frederic sat back in her seat. She needed to get back to the Warehouse as quickly as possible.

Sorry it took me so long to get this chapter out. I hope you enjoy, and if you get this far, please review A free tour of the Warehouse with the guide of your choice if you review.


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